The Pattern of the Dance

Did you know that communication can  be likened to a dance pattern?

Yes it can :)

Think about a couple that is doing a waltz together. In order for it to flow smoothly, they have to move in sync with one another. When they don't, toes get stepped on, and it just doesn't work.

Same with communication. There is always a pattern of action/reaction. You do this and they do that.

It does not matter if it is negative or positive. If you've been interacting with them for awhile, you can predict their next move.

If you don't like the pattern of communication that you have with someone, then learn to be a better dance partner.

It is easier to play the blame game but instead take responsibility and learn to change your part. It only takes one to change the movement of dance between two people.

Think about it...

If you start doing a cha cha cha and they are still attempting to do a waltz, you can imagine that the one person still trying to waltz will have to change if they want to continue to dance with you.

It will actually cause friction and possibly pain but in order to have healthier communication, if one person refuses to change, friction is necessary for it to get healthier.

Without change...everything stays the same.

This is where you have to make a decision. How much discomfort are you prepared to face?

Will you be one that blames the other and refuses to look at your own part in the breakdown of communication?

Or...

Will you take ownership for areas of regret in what you said or did?

Whichever one it is will determine how emotionally healthy you are.

To be able to change the pattern of interaction between you and the other person it takes both humility, courage and tenacity.

I guarantee if you want to avoid "uncomfortable" at all costs, then you won't be able to change and will stay stuck.

But...

If you are willing to work with some friction in order to develop a healthier pattern of communication, then in the long run the benefit will far outweigh the cost.

And who knows, you might even have fun learning to dance with greater ease and effectiveness in your pattern of communication.

So, which will it be: the waltz or the cha cha cha?

It's your choice. 

Neither the waltz or the cha cha cha is wrong, it is just a different style of dance but the more you practice and communicate, the better the dance will flow and the stepping on of toes will lessen

If you would like help in changing your part of the dance, book a tune up coaching session and let's get you back out on the dance floor looking like a seasoned dance pro!