In Times of Deepest Darkness Who Is God to You?

Humans have a tendency to struggle with who God is for them when all hell breaks loose in their lives.

I know I did this in my early 40's when I accused God of not being a good Father.

It was a time when life was crashing down all around me.

It was also a time where I had lost everything other than my actual life.

During this time I wrestled with a loss of identity because I was no longer a strong, independent, capable woman.

Life was a mess with a future that held very little hope for the vibrancy and health that I had once known.

It was a critical time where I severely questioned the character of God, because for me a "good" heavenly Father God would have prevented my major health crises from ever happening.

Fast forward to an early morning this past week.

I was sitting outside in the early morning sun with a cup of coffee in hand, enjoying the warmth of the sunshine, sheltered from the cool wind, 

I opened up my Bible app and continued reflecting on Psalm 23: 3-4 in The Passion Translation.

As I began to put into picture form in my mind's eye what I was reading, some truths connected in a new way. They talked about God opening up before me the "right path" and that these paths would take me through "the valley of deepest darkness".

I didn't find that at all comforting, but the parts that did were the same verses that talked about God leading me along in His footsteps of righteousness, followed by "so that I can bring HONOR to HIS name."

I have long since resolved who God is in the midst of pain and major disappointments, but taking the time to remember the fun I had as a kid, stepping in my daddy's footstep imprints in the snow, brought a deeper level of revelation and comfort to me regarding God as my heavenly Father.

I've know for awhile now that I don't have to always understand God's ways.

I don't even have to like them.

In my books, it's ok to even challenge God, because pain drives confusion and God wants to clear that up and take our revelation about Him to the deepest levels.

But the final conclusion that I've come to is that I need to TRUST God and to know that He is a good FATHER even when it leads down paths of deep darkness containing loss and devastation. That is my hope and prayer for you as well.

If wrestling with God is something you want help with, make sure to reach out to someone who:

1) won't shame you for having a wrestling match with God.

2) knows what it is like to have come out of the deep darkness even more in love with God.

The truth is, we don't live in a fairy tale world where everything has a happy ending, but determining who God is for you prior to the trials and temptations will help you to trust in God, even when the thought is knocking at the door of your mind that He has abandoned and/or rejected you.

Remember: God will never go against His word, "He will never leave you nor forsake you" Hebrews 13:5.

So, determine before the testing of life to believe that God is good and know that even in those deepest, darkest places, He WILL be with you.